I have a secret I want to let you in on:

There Are BIG Changes Coming to Reading For Your Success…

For the past few months I’ve been working on a huge project (you may have noticed me mentioning it in past posts). It’s something I am super excited to share with all of you. I think our tribe here is going to benefit in a big way as a result (that means you).

Before long (like in the next few days!) the brand and name of ReadingForYourSuccess will be completely changing…for the better.

Since we’ve built this epic community and business, it’s become more and more obvious where it can be the most help to all of you. A new and refined brand is something we’ve needed here for a while and I can’t tell you how excited I am to share it with you very very soon.

The new brand will even better allow us to experience the freedom we deserve, live on our terms and do work we LOVE. That’s the reason why everything here exists and I intend to continue to deliver in a big way.

We’re finishing up the final details and have some awesome content coming your way with some rockstar guest contributors to help celebrate the launch.

Keep an eye out for big things to come in the upcoming blog post!

It’s amazing to have you along for the ride. I’m truly grateful for the community you all have created here.

The best part is we’re just getting started.

Only a couple days left…

-Scott

Written by Scott Dinsmore –  Follow me on Twitter.

“The lack of clearly defined success is what keeps one’s dreams and happiness just out of reach of their reality.”

Think about the goals you’re running like crazy to accomplish. Think of the promotion you want. The job you’d love. The cars, the houses, all of it.

What are you chasing?

The thing is most people know what they’re chasing but few people know why they’re chasing it.

Is it because those are things that mean something to you or is it just because they mean something to those around you?

When was the last time you sat down to define what success really means for you?

It’s so easy to get caught up in societies definition… That’s usually the money, the paycheck, the status, the title, the clout. After all, it’s the only thing that can easily be compared, so it’s the thing that get’s talked about. My last year at university all people wanted to know was what the job paid and was it a name that everyone knew. There was no talk of whether it was something they actually wanted or something they were good at.

For most of us that comparison stuck.

So we forever adopt, often unconsciously, someone else’s definition and claim it as our own. Then we start to base our biggest life decisions accordingly.

All of a sudden we are busting our ass to live societies dreams, giving no thought to our own.

Is it any surprise why so many people can’t get a grasp on their passion, let alone live it?

Our surroundings are dictating so much of what we decide is correct. And most the time those around us don’t have a clue why they’re following it either. The blind continues to lead the blind.

The problem is that you’ll spend your whole life going after things you never genuinely wanted in the first place. Do you know how many people become doctors and lawyers and corporate junkies because that’s what makes their parents proud? Do you know how many are pulling their hair out as a result? I don’t even want to get into the numbers.

It’s simple, if you don’t do something for your own reasons, you’ll either do it terribly, be terribly unhappy doing it, or both.

I am tired of what society says is successful. So far it’s resulted in the average person being overweight, miserable in their job and with no idea how they want to impact the world. Thanks but no thanks.

I used to live that way. I never felt good enough and was never satisfied. Comparison haunted me. A friend would get a promotion and instead of congratulating him, I secretly got angry that he now made more money and looked ‘better’ than me.

That’s no way to live.

Define your own success and nothing else matters.

For my first few years out of college I walked around mindlessly trying to accomplish what others said was important. It was so bad that I even envied my investment banker buddies whom made 100k a year, despite knowing that they worked seven days a week and spent the night under their desk more often than not. But I had no other way to compare. So I constantly felt inadequate.

Then something interesting happened, I went out and found work that actually mattered to me. Work that allowed me to use my strengths, to build things, to make a difference. It was a feeling I’d never felt (now it’s one I can’t do without). Suddenly I didn’t care at all about what my investment banker buddies were doing. It didn’t matter what they were making or what people thought of their title.

No one’s success is the same as yours. Once you take the time to define it, you’ll stop comparing to others and you’ll start working on things that truly matter to you. Life becomes a lot more fun.

Achievement is in the eye of the beholder. The longer we follow societies predefined path, the further we will be from living ours.

How to get started…

Every time I walk into my house I see a plaque hanging on the wall. It’s a Ralph Waldo Emerson quote. His definition of success. It’s a constant reminder that the things the world claims are so important, aren’t all that matter. They are secondary at best.

I hope he inspires you to define yours:

To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent

people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation

of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to

appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the

world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch,

or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has

breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

But wait, he forgot to mention the money part!

It’s so easy to take a look at someone who has what looks like a meaningless job or hardly any money and think they’re nowhere. But who are we to judge? They might be at the top of their world because they put first things first and set themselves up to win. The world envy’s the outcast. They just don’t know how to express it.

Success is not found in getting the most prestigious job, biggest paycheck or working more hours than you thought existed. Just because we’ve been brainwashed, doesn’t make it correct.

All of us have different paths to walk. We need to start acting like it.

Stop changing who you are to succeed.

Real success comes from inside. From knowing you are living who you are and doing your part.

But first you must unfollow the crowd.

It’s time we redefine what matters.

Before we can go any further. Before you set out on any other journeys for accomplishment, take 10 minutes (or a few hours or days if you need to) and become crystal clear on what success is for you. Your life will change. The below free webinar will help.

In two sentences or less, what’s your definition of success? Please share in the comments below. Inspire us!

Don’t miss a free webinar to define your succes and learn to get paid to do what you love. Very worth checking out. Enjoy. Sign up here.

Written by Scott Dinsmore –  Follow me on Twitter.

“Show me the path and I’ll walk it.”

~Unknown

Important Note: I created this post with the goal that it would be the last resource you’ll ever need for getting your first few thousand subscribers to your blog (and likely as many as you want). It’s very detailed and intentionally long (at over 3,300 words). It’s meant to be a resource you read, bookmark and come back to as you grow. If you know someone growing a website or blog, please share it with them.

Let the action begin:

I’ve spent the last year and half testing every strategy and gimmick out there for growing a blog. The bad news is that almost none of them are worth an ounce of effort.

The good news is that there are 3 tactics that work flawlessly.

Once I discovered these, my subscribers grew by 4,000 in about twelve months and this blog is now one of the top 0.7% most trafficked on the internet. I don’t say this to brag but instead to prove to you there’s a system that works.

Let’s dive in…

At the beginning of last year I had about 114 subscribers. Most were friends and family and the number hadn’t grown since I launched the blog a few years prior.

When I started my site I naively thought if I build it they will come. Turns out that doesn’t happen on the internet so much.

With the rare exception, you have to work your ass off to get people in front of your stuff. But you also have to focus on the right work.

Early last year I’d hit a crossroads: Either (sadly) shut this site down that clearly seemed to be going nowhere, or take it seriously and really see what’s possible.

I chose the latter.

That’s when I went to work. I studied every technique out there in search of the 80/20 solution to growing a blog. I literally spent dozens and dozens of hours reading every book and doing every course I could find. And then testing it out. Believe me there are a lot of things you can spend (read: waste) your time on. The problem is that hardly any of them are useful. You can mess with the best widgets, find new plugins, play on social networks. I did it all.

Almost all of it got me nowhere.

But then after testing everything, I found the holy grail. The 80/20 of growing a blog audience. I’d even call it the 95/5 – the top 5% of tasks that yield 95% of the results. And the best part about it is there are only 3 things to focus on.

After finding this 3-step formula, it was off to the races.

I get emails and requests almost daily from people who want my help or to hire me to teach them how to do the same.

I tell them the same three things every time. I sometimes feel badly charging for the guidance since it’s so simple, but as always the devil is in the details. The results speak for themselves and they’ve been consistent in every one of the dozens of people and case studies I’ve analyzed.

This post is going to cost me some consulting hours but I think it’s one of the most helpful things I could write for any of you looking to create a following for your cause.

Here’s a year snapshot of my site’s traffic:

Here are a few stats to go with it:

• Total visits April 2010: 1,097
• Total visits April 2011: 17,230
• Increase in monthly visitors: 14,700%
• Subscribers on April 30, 2010: 114
• Subscribers on April 30, 2011: 4,005
• 12-month subscriber increase: 34,130%

Let’s talk about how you can do the same.

The only 3-Step Formula you’ll ever need to grow your blog by 4,000 in 12 months (or as big as you want):

1. Write insanely useful content.

Or as Corbett at ThinkTraffic likes to say, write epic shit. There is nothing more important than writing content that genuinely helps people. Did you hear that? Nothing. Seriously. Don’t convince yourself otherwise.

Find your voice. Speak from the heart. Be vulnerable. When people visit your site, they are going to make a very fast decision whether to stay or not. Your content has to keep them there.  They want to hear from you, not some generic top ten list generator.

Blow people’s minds. Tie in ridiculous personal experiences and stories – like how I worked out with Tim Ferriss or bought an engagement ring form Warren Buffett. Go out and have unique experiences and interact with passionate people and then bring it all back to your writing.

Always be helping. Think of the things your readers most need help with. What expertise do you have to help folks? Constantly be thinking of ways to help people with real problems and do it in unique ways. Start with your problems. You’re likely not alone.

Be dependable. Pick a writing and posting schedule and stick to it. Best to start with once a week and increase once you realize how much effort’s involved in a weekly post (good work takes serious time). Give your readers something to anticipate and expect on a schedule they can rely on.

Constantly practice. Every blogger is an artist. Good art takes time. The more writing you do, the better you’ll get at it. Learn about various post structures and headline techniques, vary your content. See what sticks. Find time to write everyday, even if it’s only a sentence or two. Pay attention to what your mentors in the space are doing. Notice how they write. Learn and apply it.

Your site has to be full of insanely useful shit. Simple as that. This is where it all starts.

2. Write guest posts (i.e. Write insanely useful content for other sites)

This is the game-changer. Having killer content on your site is the foundation where as this is how you turn on the fire hose. If you want new people to join your following, you have to get your insanely useful content in front of new people. The best and most consistent way to do this is by writing for other peoples’ sites (for those new to the scene, that’s what we call ‘guest posting’).

Potentially thousands more people will experience your work, and as a bonus the new inbound links will also help a ton with your Google rankings and online credibility. Most importantly, you’ll get to help more people with your content. That’s the key.

Become a guest posting machine. This is when it really clicked for me. Once I discovered guest posting I felt like I’d struck gold. I saw the value and committed to it. I wrote one guest post a week for months. I think I wrote 15 in the following two. My traffic absolutely took off. You can see a list of my recent guest posts here.

Sack up and start writing – stop putting it off! The funny thing is that I had been told guest posts were the answer for a couple months prior but I couldn’t work up the courage to start doing it. After all, it actually involves reaching out to people and pitching your work to others. That can be scary. And it was. Until I did my first two or three. Then the fear of asking turns into the excitement of being able to get your work out to a whole new world.

Start small. Reach out to people who have maybe twice your following. Pick sites that relate to your work. Look at their recent posts, check their comments and notice what their audience looks for.

Start pitching. Then write a short email mentioning your site and the idea you have for an article that would help their readers. Always focus on how you can help them and their readers. Everything comes back to that. List a few provocative headlines as possible topics. Mention any other sites you’ve written for with an example of your best work and send it out.

Write before you pitch. If you really want to nail it, write the whole article in advance and just attach it to the email so they know you mean business. They’ll get to see your stuff first hand, plus they’ll realize the massive effort you’ve already put in and be more likely to say yes. After all, it’s easy to ask in a three line email, but it’s a whole different show of effort to send over 1,000 of your best words. Stand out.

Customize to their site. Don’t write a generic post and try to pitch it to ten sites to see what sticks. You’re going to look like an idiot. Every post should be crafted to fit the message of the specific site’s readers and message. Show them you pay attention to their work. Worst case, they turn it down and you can repurpose it on your own site (but only if it hasn’t been published anywhere else–people nor Google like duplicate content).

Try sites out of your niche. If you’re a weight-lifting blog, don’t just focus on other fitness sites. That’s a good place to start but be sure to branch out into other categories. You’ll put your stuff in front of a whole different audience. Magical things can start to happen.

Start this week. There is a whole art behind guest posting and pitching and the best way to learn it is to start doing it. Seriously start this week. There is absolutely no reason to wait. Pitch and write at least one article in the next five days.

Leverage momentum. Maybe start with someone you know so you can ease the pressure. Do anything you can to start building the momentum. As you get more guest posts live, your credibility will build and more people will accept. Before long people will be offering you spots on their site without even having to ask.

People want you to write for them. This is not a one way street. Big bloggers are busy with all kind of projects. They’d love a great writer to take the load off their back for one of their weekly posts. Remember you are doing them a service. You are helping (likely saving them 5 or more hours!). We have to shift our psychology if we’re really going to get fired up for this (and in case you didn’t realize, being fired up is crucial!). You’re just giving them the chance to have you help out in a way only you can. Embrace it.

Trust the process. Realize that not every guest post you write will yield a ton of traffic, even from some of the big sites where you’d expect it. Don’t worry about it. Those are the exceptions. Stick to the process. You will get results. I’ve had single posts that have gotten me over 800 new subscribers in a matter of days. This stuff plain works.

Pay attention to those above you. Notice some of the top bloggers or the kick-ass up and coming guys like Tyler, Barrie, Mars or Steve. You see their work all over the place. It’s no coincidence they are growing like bamboo on steroids.

Why haven’t you taken this seriously yet? If you’ve been blogging for more that about a week, I know you’ve heard the guest posting drill. Then why aren’t you doing more of it? Commit right now to pitching a certain number of sites and writing a certain number of guest posts each week or month. Stick to it.

Create your dream list. Start making a list of sites you’d love to write for – from the smallest to the biggest in the world. Then start checking them off. You’ll likely get to write for all of them one day if you put your head down and get after it.

Prepare for the traffic. If you take this seriously, a lot of new people are going to be coming your way. At the least be sure you have a super easy way for them to subscribe (ideally using an email management program like Aweber – that’s what I use and others swear by it). Feedburner’s an ok place to start but is very limited. Put the subscribe box above the fold where it will catch the eye. Top right usually works well.

Give something away. Also offer something free for those who sign up. This can be as simple as a PDF of your top 10 or 20 posts. Just copy them to Word, format it a bit and save as PDF. It shouldn’t take you more than an hour or two and will likely increase conversion by 2x or 3x minimum (here’s a link to the free ebook I made in a few hours).

Don’t over think this stuff. Keep it simple and watch what happens.

Here’s what happened the day my guest post went live on Elance:

Here are a few stats to go with it:

• Average daily visitors for two weeks prior: 94
• Visitors on day post went live (July 27, 2010): 709
• Average daily visitors for two weeks after: 234

3. Create genuine connections.

Hands down the best way to get the chance to write for other sites is by creating real-life connections with the people who own them.

People miss this one all the time. We forget that the online world is still run by real people. They want to connect. We all do. It’s time to get out from behind your screen and reach out.

Start thanking people. Make a point to send a note of thanks via twitter or email to people who’ve written content you enjoy. Be genuine with your praise.

Get face-to-face. Find virtual connections who live in your town and get together with them for tea or beers. Go out on workouts with them. Make real friends.

Link to people in every post you write. Links are the currency of the Internet. Start dishing them out like crazy.

Keep a list of people and their sites (use your guest post list from above) and try to link to at least a couple other sites in each of your posts. Be sure you’re linking to really useful content that your readers will enjoy and then do it often. Your readers will appreciate it. The other site will love it and people will start to notice you.

Tell people you mentioned them. Send a short note letting them know you linked to their article and thank them for giving you something awesome to link to. Don’t ask for anything in return. Just be generous.

Create a network. Find some people at a similar level and work together to link to each other’s work and build each other up. These relationships will be invaluable as you grow, create products and build your influence.

Notice how others connect. Look at some of your favorite blogs. How are people around you meeting up online or off. Perhaps they do webinars, tweet ups or interviews. Notice how often they link to others. People are doing it all the time. Corbett Barr and Pat Flynn seem to do it almost every week and they get a ton of vistors they would have never seen otherwise.

Interview people. Offering to interview someone on your site always makes folks happy and they’ll likely send their readers over to check it out.

Who are you more likely to link to? – an awesome site where you’re friends with the owner or an awesome site where you don’t even know the owner’s first name? Obvious I know. Start doing it.

The world, online and off, is run on personal interaction. I wrote a whole post purely on building world-class connections. Check it out.

Here’s what happened when Leo at ZenHabits decided to link to me one day:

Here are a few stats to go with it:

• Average daily visitors for two weeks prior: 363
• Visitors on day linked post went live (December 6, 2010): 2,506
• Average daily visitors for two weeks after: 620
• New subscribers in 3 days after linked post going live: 920

4. Have a clear brand.

This is a little bonus. If you do the above three things you will grow faster than you could have ever imagined, (even if your core message is a little weak). But your brand still makes a huge difference and is very worth getting right. It also massively helps your chances of turning your blog into a business (in case that’s part of your plan).

Communicate how you want to help your readers. Are you making the value you’re offering to your readers crystal clear? The more obvious this is the easier it will be for them to explain your value to others, link to you and want to spend time with your stuff. It also makes anyone more likely to subscribe.

Take the time to nail a crystal clear brand message and design. It doesn’t have to be complicated and in-depth, just clear.

I’ve spent a ton of time on branding in the past few months to refine the way I communicate how I want to help all of you. I hope to have the rebranded site launched in the next couple weeks and cannot wait to share it with you. I’m seriously so freakin excited. Keep an eye out!

Warning: Hard work required.

Did you know that when Leo Babauta first started ZenHabits he did nearly 10 guest posts a week in addition to writing as many as 10 weekly posts on his own site? He did this for the whole first year. That’s twenty posts a week.

Think about that for a minute.

Most bloggers haven’t written 10 guest posts in their whole blogging career and most never will. Do you know how much work that is? Do you know how badly he must have wanted it to work that hard? As a result he had over 25,000 subscribers in his first year (and now has over 215k and is a Time Magazine top blog). He found what worked and gave it laser focus.

When I discovered the above formula, I dedicated 15 hours a week to making it happen. I didn’t write 20 posts each week but I did pick a number and didn’t let up. As a result, my passion, my blog, has now also become a sweet little business that helps thousands of people each week. I pinch myself every time I think about it.

How bad do you want it?

I’ve shared the above four steps with dozens of people so far and now many thousands in this post. The wild thing is do you know how many have taken the guidance to heart and put their head down to put it to use?

I could count on one hand.

It’s crazy how guaranteed these results are. This stuff is totally possible if you’re willing to put in the work. It is completely on you. The good news is not that many people are doing it. Don’t be one of them.

Time to start writing.

Have questions or success stories? I’m happy to answer any and all. Please ask them in the comments below.

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The info in the above post is more than enough to make big things happen but if you want to dig even deeper, go see what Traffic School is all about.

Image courtesy of Maximo Lopez

Written by Scott Dinsmore –  Follow me on Twitter.

“Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.”

-Napoleon Bonaparte

There’s so much talk on blogs and in books about freedom.

You hear it everywhere. About owning your calendar. Being location independent. Having no one to report to. Running your own businesses. The list goes on.

Freedom, as well as any value, can be defined a million and one ways. Have you actually sat down to define yours? If you haven’t, you’ll likely spend your life trying to accomplish someone else’s dream. You’ll never get there and the journey is going to suck.

Is that really how you want to spend your time?

Take a minute right now and think about what it means to you to be free.

What does your lifestyle need to look like? How do you need to feel? How would you be spending an average day? Where are you making money to support yourself? What’s exciting you each day? Really give this a little time and scribble down some answers.

Maybe for you freedom is being able to give your children the education they deserve or granting them every opportunity to pursue their passions. Maybe it’s being able to work in your underwear or take your spouse on a hot date on a dime’s notice. Or perhaps to work on the things that truly excite you or to have a reason to smile every day. Or maybe for you the one universal freedom is enough, to choose your own thoughts and define what life’s situations mean to you. Your call. Give it some thought.

Do you know how free you are?

Sometimes we spend so much time wanting what someone else has, we forget to take advantage of what’s right in front of us. There are freedom’s we have that no one can take from us, yet so few of us actually do anything with them.

You are free to help someone with something you are really good at.

You are free to pursue an idea that excites you (even if it’s only on the nights and weekends to start).

You are free to learn and become an expert on anything in the world.

You are free to be fit, healthy and energetic.

You are free to be calm and balanced.

You are free to go almost anywhere in the world for less than the cost of your monthly rent (likely a lot less).

You are free to negotiate a new working situation with your boss to better leverage who you are.

You are free to call in sick tomorrow and spend the day learning what you actually want.

You are free to quit and do something that matters.

You are free to spend time around passionate people.

You are free to share your art with the world, and get paid for it.

You are free to find what excites you.

You are free to be inspired.

You are free to take action.

I promise you something. You are more free than you think. Don’t let some made-up excuses of circumstance keep you from doing something about it.

No one is stopping you but yourself.

Pick a freedom and start small.

What are you going to do with yours?

Written by Scott Dinsmore –  Follow me on Twitter.

“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”

-Raymond Hull

Last week I attended an event called The Founder’s Circle.

Picture 35 founders from around San Francisco all in one place to eat great food, sip great scotch, snack on local dark chocolate and engage in some of the most inspiring chat I’ve had in months, all in the setting of a classic antique shop housed in what felt like a 1920′s barn.

This was a pretty epic event. I talked to two guys back to back who had each founded and sold 4 or 5 companies. They were in their early 30′s. I immediately felt myself thinking about how I could come up with stories to compare to theirs…

Then I noticed something odd. These people were talking as much about failure and challenge as they were about success and accomplishment. Before I knew it, so was I.

Then I remembered how the night started.

As we sat for dinner, the host made a brilliant toast and asked us to turn over our menus to find four questions:

1. When am I not authentic?

2. What challenges me?

3. Where am I playing small in life right now?

4. What has heart and meaning for me?

These were our discussion topics for the night. A room full of people normally required to put off just the right image for employees, investors and onlookers, were given permission to leave all that at the door. And for a night, not have to stack up to anything.

The evening was unbelievably vulnerable. We loved it.

When was the last time you were you?

I mean totally honest with who you are? When did you let it all hang out for anyone to see?

For many it’s been so long it’s become tough to distinguish who we are from who we represent ourselves being. It’s no surprise though. When you ask someone how their business is coming along or how things are at their job, how often do you get a reply like “oh man things are brutal, I think we might have to close the doors?” Instead an inquiry like that is often taken as an invitation to cherry pick the top 5% of what they’re doing.

We hear so much talk of success that we start to feel like that’s all we should be sharing.

The problem is it’s fake.

Nothing goes right for anyone all the time. And anyone representing that it does is full of sh*t. Seriously, we all know the guy who can’t stop talking about his most recent monster deal or sweet new porsche, without ever a mention of challenge or difficulty. How much do you trust that person? How close are you to them? How much time do you want to spend around them?

And social networks are the epitome of it. Sure it’s cool and fun to see all the great things people are up to, but that’s all you see on Facebook, Twitter or most blogs. The wildest country I just visited, the club I went to last night, the business I just launched. It all revolves around promoting your best work.

But by default not all of our work is our best. Some of it is going to suck. You are going to get rejected, you are going to fail, you are going to feel alone. Imagine what would happen if you shared on Facebook, not only the bad-ass raise you just got, but instead the job you are deathly terrified of losing or the call you can hardly wait to get from the doctor. How would people respond? Who of your 2,014 ‘friends’ might reach out and offer a new perspective and unique way to help?

Dinner parties, conversations, social networks, blogs, you name it – these are not venues meant to be exploited for empty self-promotion. They are to connect on a real level – good and bad. The issue is not that we’re sharing all the very best, it’s that we aren’t sharing the rest of what makes up who we actually are. Optimism and honesty are not mutually exclusive.

Without vulnerability there is no connection.

We all have razor sharp B.S. meters. As soon as we sense someone isn’t being genuine, they’re dismissed. Whether you know it or not your subconscious is doing it.

After all, it’s impossible to have a real connection, I’m talking deep and meaningful rapport, without actually knowing who you’re talking to. Sure you may be cordial, find a way to work together or even think you’re friends. But you’ll always be missing something. Something big. The something that makes two people connect as husband and wife or two buddies become lifelong best friends. It’s because at some point they decided to be open. Simple as that.

The world and our experiences within it are all based on genuine personal connection. Without it we miss out on the best parts (and end up being pretty miserable in the process). I challenge you to be more of who you are.

For some real motivation, check out this TED Talk: The Power of Vulnerability, which inspired this post.

Let yourself be seen.

Be human. No one gets it right all the time. No one gets through life totally unharmed. The people you meet want to see you. They want to know you. They don’t only want to know who you are when you’re performing at your top 10%. Sure they want to experience that too, but not at the loss of who you really are. Share your challenges with those around you. The things that terrify you, the hardest parts of life. Watch what happens. For an example, Corbett Barr recently let himself ‘be seen’ in a pretty entertaining post: 33 Things I’ve Never Told You.

People want to help – give them the chance.

My guess is you have one or a few people you genuinely open up to. That’s a good start, but what about everyone else?

People genuinely want to support, help and comfort others. It’s human nature. But they can’t help someone if that person is busy being someone else. If you let more of the world see who you are, who else might end up in your corner? There’s only one way to find out.

Notice how deeply and quickly you connect with almost anyone, even within minutes after meeting, when you open with who you are, your challenges, your fears. Not only will they have your back, but you being you gives others permission to be them. The connection deepens. If that goes on long enough, suddenly the world is operating on a totally new level.

Believe you’re enough - Don’t should all over yourself.

We don’t act ourselves around others because we either want or think we should be someone else. We think we need more money, a better story, a more impactful job, a hotter body.

Well I have some news. You’ll never be anyone else. So stop shoulding all over yourself!

It’s a fine balance – to be excited about working your ass off to get to where you want to be, while staying satisfied with who you are. The only person worthy of comparison is yourself. Everyone else has their own story and their own experience. If we knew at our core that we were enough, we’d never find a reason to represent anything or anyone else. Being yourself comes from knowing yourself.

Be Authentic.

The above questions from last week’s dinner spurred conversations I’d only had with my wife and a few friends prior. It was liberating.

I get scared to death with what I’m doing. I panic that I might blow up what I’ve created. I don’t spend as much time as I’d like around those I love. I get scared of being rejected. I can’t always do all the things I write about (that’s partly why I continue to write them – it’s as much for me as for you!), I get turned down almost weekly. I have days where I can’t get myself to pick up the phone even though making that call is the most important thing on my list.

I have no illusions that I have all the answers, nor that I do everything right. No one does. And that’s fine. As long as you don’t keep it to yourself. The world wants to know who you are. We want to help.

I challenge you to be bold. Be who you are. Embrace vulnerability.

Invest in a relationship without knowing if you’ll get your heart broken

Tell people your greatest fear

Say I love you first

Start a business that might fail

Do something that matters to you, no matter how unlikely the outcome

Share who you really are

Experience what matters

You’re right, all of the toughest emotions in life come from putting yourself out there – fear, loneliness, shame, unworthiness, inadequacy, you name it.

But this same vulnerability is also the only place where you can find true love, connection, creativity, belonging, joy or a life that truly means something.

You can’t have one without the other.

Decide to be open.

Show the world who you really are.

Watch what happens.

What is the last thing you want to share with 4,300 people you don’t know? Take your first vulnerable step and mention it in the comments below. Use a fake name if you must. Just get it out. Be human!

Image Courtesy of Helga Weber

Written by Scott Dinsmore –  Follow me on Twitter.

“Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.”

~Laurence J. Peter

Last week this site got hacked. Some guy out in Russia busted into my code and redirected everyone to his site and even caused some serious computer issues for some of you readers. It also effected anyone who tried to leave a comment last week.

In a matter of minutes the site lost nearly 50% of its traffic.The situation was no fun, and to be honest, was pretty damn scary.

First off I apologize for any of you who got tangled up in it.

The good news is we got the hack dealt with about 30 hours after it happened and the site is now more secure than ever.

Perhaps you’re wondering the same thing I was: Why the hell would anyone want to screw up a site who’s only mission is to help others live on passion and do work they love? Good question. It still makes me scratch my head. Perhaps the person behind it should spend a bit more time reading the posts instead of trying to keep others from them…

Ok, enough of my rant.

This situation reminded me of how important it is to have a process for dealing with bad things happening. After all, the bigger the goals we pursue and the harder we work to live a life that matters, the more that will go wrong. That’s the cost of admission.

I’ve been using a version of the below process for years. I share it with hopes that it will help you deal with yours. It’s not the end all be all, but it’s turned around a lot of tough situations.

8 Steps to Mastering Misfortune – What to do when the sh*t hits the fan:

1. Freak out. We are human. I’m not going to pretend that we are not going to at least momentarily go to a place of panic or extreme fear. We will. Everyone does. The key is to acknowledge the fear by giving yourself a very short window to freak out. The nice thing about this step is we’ll likely subconsciously go straight to it. Don’t be hard on yourself or allow it to make things any worse than they are. Maybe go into an empty room and yell a couple unsavory words or pound a pillow. Get some of that unhealthy energy out. This step is crucial. We won’t be able to operate until we get past the panic. Give yourself a max of a few minutes – don’t allow yourself to dwell.

I’m not going to lie, I was pretty panicked when I first realized I’d been hacked. I consider myself a writer, coach, investor, entrepreneur and a bunch of other fun stuff but one thing I’m not is a coder. All I knew was that dozens of people started writing in telling me there was a big problem but I had no idea what to do. I had spent the last four years building this site and I realized in an instant that could be compromised. That’s a scary thought. So I let my mind run wild with it for a few minutes. I needed it out of my system.

2. Step back. Any time we’re devastated or panicked we begin to act on pure emotion. This generally leads to bad decision making. Once you’ve spent no more than a few seconds or minutes freaking out, you must disconnect yourself from the situation so you can begin to take practical logical action. This could be anything from a few minutes of concentrated breathing to a walk around the block, calling a friend or getting out for a good run. My favorite go to method for disconnecting from a problem has always been moving and breathing outside. Nothing beats it. Take your pick, but some way you have to step out of the problem. Even some of the most dire situations can afford 10-20 minutes or at least a few breaths to get centered.

3. Talk to someone. Others rarely see your situation as bad as you do. They have the luxury of not being emotionally involved so they can immediately be objective and see light where you likely see dark. My wife is awesome at this. Grab someone close to you and tell them what happened. Let their response soothe you a bit.

4. Find a reason why. Now it’s time to start dealing with it. The only thing we truly have control of is how we interpret what happens to us – the meaning we decide to give to things. No matter how much control we think we have, just about everything else is out of our hands in one way or another. Ask yourself, what possible good could come out of this? What reason can I find for this happening that will make me better as a result? I promise you, there’s always at least one. So you got fired, maybe that means you finally get to pursue that business you thought would always be a pipe dream. Find your empowering reason.

One of the most common characteristics of genuinely successful and fulfilled people is they are able to reframe their situations to turn darkness into light. We must do the same. For me, I got hacked so I could better secure my work before even more was at stake in the future. And I could see how many people truly cared about helping me and what I was building.

5. Realize your worst case scenario. This is one of the misunderstood areas of business and life I’ve seen, and it’s what keeps most people stuck in fear instead of taking meaningful action. Take time to realize the absolute worst thing that could happen in your current situation. The easy example is a job. The reason the majority of my readers give me for not having taken action towards their dream business or career yet is the fear of failure. But what are they really so scared of?

Let’s say you quit your job to pursue a better path. You start a business or take a new role that’s more on passion. The worst thing is it fails. Then the spiral starts. It’s so easy to jump right from failing to thinking that you won’t have a job, which means you won’t be making any money, which means you won’t be able to support you or your family, meaning you won’t be able to pay rent and you’re out on the street. This is an all too common thought process.

Let’s say your new plan didn’t work out, what would you actually do? How long could you live off savings while you got back on your feet? How quickly could you pick up an odd job or consult on your expertise to make ends meet? If you had to, there are all kinds of ways to make money short term. They might not be ideal, but they’re better than living on the street. Not to mentioned, if you had made a good impression on your past employer (and I hope all of you have), then they will likely be happy to take you back. Or you could use your expertise to get a similar role somewhere else. If that’s the case then all off a sudden your worse case scenario is your current case. Then how could you not act?

As is natural, during my initial freakout, I laid out a pretty grim worst case. I might lose all the hundreds of articles I’ve written, Google may delist my site, or even worse, I might lose all of you as cherished readers. But if I really did lose all my articles or if a bunch of people unsubscribed, I still had my posts in email version and I had people out there who genuinely benefit from my work. I could just find them again. It would take some time but I could reload all of my posts and reach out to most my readers. And if I got delisted from google, who really cares since I’m planning to change URL’s for my relaunch in a few weeks anyway.

Your worst case is often far better than you give credit. Here’s a deeper article on worst case scenarios. Such a huge part of accomplishing big things.

6. Find past proof. Find people who have had to deal with similar situations in the past. Go through your contacts and make a list. Put a post on Facebook and Twitter. Do a Google search. The more examples we can see that this situation can be dealt with, the more manageable it becomes. Some may be people you know, others might not. The important thing is to find examples. Odds are this is not the first time someone’s dealt with your problem. Find those who have.

7. Get the right people in your corner. You need some experts in your corner. From the above list, find people in your network who are willing to help. Once you let others know you have a problem, and genuinely open yourself up and ask for help, you’ll be blown away by how many people want to lend a hand. People are hard-wired to want to help other people, especially if they have a specific skill or experience that would add unique value.

I was floored by the dozens of people on Twitter who reached out and, totally unsolicited, offered to dedicate possibly huge portions of their day to helping me out. Some people I’d never even spoken with. I suddenly found another reasons for this happening – I realized I had a support team I never knew existed.

Two guys that went way above and beyond to help were Corbett Barr and Brett Kelly. They happen to know this stuff incredibly well. Thanks fellas.

8. Do something. Believe it or not, once all the over-reacting and emotion is behind you, this is usually the least difficult part. Let your support team guide you on how to deal with the problem. Listen to your experts. Create a list of tactical steps and simply walk through them. Don’t focus too much on the end solution, but instead on the small steps in between. Those smaller, easier actions will get you there. Start working your ass off to solve your problem.

Everything is a lesson.

When things go massively wrong it’s easy to channel that energy and emotion and throw your hands up. That’s exactly what the other side wants. Know that this experience will make you stronger.

Everything that happens is meant to be part of a lifelong education. There’s no other choice. Problems are not always meant to be solved. But they are always there to teach. They can always empower, if you let them.

Find the lesson in each one and they’ll no longer be so intimidating when they come up. When that’s your state of mind, everything becomes an opportunity.

As my hacking ‘lesson’ unfolded over the day or so before it was resolved, I had some readers help me see the silver lining. Two comments I loved were:

“If you get hacked, it means you have something worth hacking.”
“If you’re not hacking or getting hacked, you’re not doing something worthwhile in tech.”

How awesome is that perspective?! I immediately adopted it and instead of feeling like a victim, I started to feel proud.

Some sh*t will always hit the fan – Welcome it.

As sure as you can be that you’ll feel like crap after a night of martini-guzzling and partying, you can be sure things are going to go wrong here and there. Oftentimes there will be no way to avoid it.

We have a lot less control than we think.

Does this mean we say screw it and stop trying? Hell no. It just makes the victories and all the more worthwhile.

If you live long enough and go after enough dreams, odds are you’ll get fired, you’ll get dumped, you’ll get cheated or you’ll get hurt. That’s fine. It’s all part of the education. And it’s the only thing that gives you a chance at greatness.

You could fail. Do it anyway.

How do you deal with brutal things happening? What’s recently happened where you could use this process? Share in the comments and we’ll see how we can help!

Please take two seconds to retweet this or share on Facebook below, because we all deal with tough stuff. Thanks so much.

Image courtesy of: Helga Weber

**Sorry folks, the sale is now closed.

“Dedicate yourself to continuous learning & experiment, and passion will always be close at hand.”

In case you haven’t noticed yet, I am absolutely crazy about learning.

Second to doing (which happens to be the best form of learning), there is nothing more important to living a life on purpose and on passion than going to school on yourself.

For the past 10+ years, I’ve treated my life as an ongoing experiment. I’m constantly testing what I might like and what I might be good at. I’m thankful for the process and it’s no doubt why this site even exists.

Some of the best ways to do this are by reading, watching videos, mapping out ideas, hanging out with mind-blowing inspiring people and most importantly putting ideas to action.

The equation is simple: Learning + Testing = Working on Purpose & Living with Passion.

The more we know about ourselves, the better chance we have of doing something that actually matters to us and the world. But that doesn’t happen on its own. We have to seek these people, resources and experiments out. And then work our ass off to find out what sticks.

It all starts with a dedication to learn.

And the best part is some of the most valuable educations cost very little, if anything at all. Last week I found just that opportunity and I have to share it with you all.

Get $1,087 in personal development books and courses for $97 – 72 hour sale

Just last week, an unreal opportunity came up to learn from 22 of the top entrepreneurs, authors and bloggers for less than 90% of what their books and courses usually cost. No joke. This sale is insane. And it only lasts for 72 hours–There’s just over two days left.

Click here for the full details of every author and course offered.

Those of you who are loyal readers know that I rarely promote others’ products on this site. The only time I do is when they have had a massive effect on me and over-delivered on value in a huge way. This is over-delivery at it’s finest. These are the resources that have helped get me where I am.

Most of these courses cost $50 or so on their own. For me stuff like this is a no brainer. My guess is some of you will agree. I bought the same package and can’t wait to dive in.

If we want to do big things, we have to learn from the people doing them.

The right models are priceless. Both for living life and doing business. An extra benefit of these resources, is if you’ve been planning on creating your own eBook or course, this can serve as the perfect way to learn how to do it right. That was the biggest benefit last time I purchased a package like this. Let these be your model for your next product.

Here are the details:

• 22 eBooks and courses for $97 – full retail is $1087
• Top entrepreneurs including Leo Babauta, Jonathan Mead and Charlie Gilkey (click here for the full list)
• Sale ends Thursday 6/23 at 12noon PST – No sales will be made after that for any reason–when it’s done, it’s done. The package will not be offered again.
• $5 from every sale gets donated to research to prevent Kidney Disease.
• A bonus from me…

As a free bonus, I’ve created the “27 Questions to Find Your Passion” PDF Report for any of you who decide to buy through this site (your support helps me keep working hard to provide all this free content for you all- so thanks!). I’ve put together a report that contains the most thought-provoking questions on understanding passion and purpose from 10+ years of testing and learning. No matter your age or stage, this report will make you think deeply about what matters. Just forward your purchase confirmation to my email and I’ll send you the PDF once the sale’s over.

I want you to benefit from this stuff as much as I have. I’m here to help.

Only buy these if you plan to use them.

Remember this is only a good deal if you actually plan to use the resources. Don’t buy it if it’s just going to collect cobwebs on your hard drive somewhere. Nothing good comes of that. Instead, pick a couple titles that excite you and plan to devour them over then next week or two. Make this worth your while.

Whether you take advantage of the these tools or not is totally your call. Most importantly, be sure to read, learn, experiment and go through life awake.

See what you notice.

**Sorry folks, the sale is now closed.

Written by Scott Dinsmore –  Follow me on Twitter.

“Be impeccably you. Boldness means pushing. Innovation’s messy. Enjoy it.”

-Danielle Laporte

The last four days have been a bit of a blur. Chris Guillebeau hosted over 500 of the most inspiring web entrepreneurs, freedom fighters and road less travelers from around the world at the World Domination Summit in Portland. They knocked it out of the park.

What blew my mind was not just the dozen or so speakers who had kicked ass in life, but more importantly the same was the case for just about every person in the audience. In every corner, every lunch, every brewery (too many of those…), every interaction was full of passionate people.

I was left inspired, even overwhelmed, with this unbelievable sense of accountability to something big. Bigger than myself. Bigger than the group. To a world where people dream big and live just as big. Where the road less traveled starts to look like the standard path.

I was in the right place.

Being the fear-I’ll-miss-a-word ridiculous note taker that I am, on the flight home I found myself with about 30 pages of possibilities, thoughts and ideas in my Moleskine.

Developing the perfect article to embody such a weekend seemed like not only an impossible task, but one that could never do those who inspired me proper justice. So instead, this is straight from the people living the life most dream of. They are not extraordinary in any way other than the fact that they want it more than the average and are willing to go through more fear and uncertainty to experience it.

I’m honored to have been among you all.

72 Hacks & Beliefs to Live Life on Your Terms

The uber-authentic Pam Slim of Escape from Cubicle Nation

1. Remember the anchor of who you are. Learn it. Live it.
2. Anytime you feel uncomfortable, no matter where you are, greet someone. Make a connection.
3. Your job is to teach them to be independent. From kids to consulting clients, it’s all the same.
4. When you find yourself looking to someone else for answers, it’s time to stop and reflect. You have all the answers you need.
5. Do things because you truly feel powerful, not because others actions tell you. Stop trying to keep up.
6. Track when you feel awesome and when feel terrible. Notice what causes each. Stop the later. Enhance the former.

The father of online simplicity and calm living, Leo Babauta of Zen Habits

7. You have to find the one or two things that really matter on your blog and simplify to focus only on that. As with life, as with a blog. Be ruthless.
8. Wake up in the morning and ask ‘what am I excited about’. Work on that and you’ll never lose motivation.
9. The questions are not how or if you can do it. We all know it’s possible. The question is what will you do and when?

The ultimate Fire Starter, Danielle Laporte of White Hot Truth

10. Be impeccably you. Boldness means pushing. Innovation’s messy. Enjoy it.
11. Ask why for everything. Don’t do anything without a good reason.
12. How do you want to feel when you accomplish a goal? We are after feelings, not check boxes. It’s the only way to really enjoy a victory.
13. If you trusted that your art would support your life, how would you live?
14. Things will not change, we will not find passion, until we show up as individuals.
15. Set a no matter what date. To be profitable. To quit. To make a change. Stick to in as if it’s life or death. Because it likely is.
16. Everything is progress.
17. This is not to get permission. Nothing is. The answer is yes. If you want it then do it.
18. Do what will make most money the fastest and then what makes most money. First think what can you make money from tomorrow. As that supports you, shift to what makes you most money over time.
19. It’s a risk. You could totally bomb. You could suck. But the fun makes it worth it.
20. Use your most precious gifts. Not just any gift. The most precious and uniquely yours.
21. Massively over-deliver.
22. Assume your audience is intelligent. Speak to them accordingly.

Lawyer (without a college degree) turned permanent traveler and no doubt most inspirational per vertical inch, Jodi Ettenberg of LegalNomads

23. The things you see as negative may turn out to be unique qualities. Own them.
24. Use your experience as a prism through which others could see their own life.
25. The story is KEY—make people aspire to want your life!

Author, photographer of beautiful faces and teacher of ‘difference = your superpower’, Karen Walrond

26. Comparing is worthless – when I compare myself to someone I compare my inside to their outside. Not fair.
27. Create your own story – not someone else’s.
28. Adventure occurs when we embrace possibility.
29. Inject cool into your life. Pick fun things to do each year for no other reason than because you want to.
30. There is so much more time. Whether you’re 20, 40, 60 or older, you likely have a lot of life left. Live it full out. Make it great.

Two best friends training the world to dream big, Jen Lemen and Andrew Scher of Mondo Beyondo

31. List your most wild things that could happen this year. You’re craziest dream and goals. Give them a chance to happen. Think Mondo Beyondo.
32. Your true purpose is to be ALIVE.

Rockstar artist and creator of the infamous Fire Bowl, and some hilarious stories, John Unger

33. The difference between disaster and opportunity is to decide to make it an opportunity.
34. How can we make everyone win?
35. Practice small disasters. Prepare yourself for the big ones you can’t avoid.

Energized couple turned professional speakers on a mission to remove stress, Kim and Jason

36. A passionate business exists at the intersection of what you like, what you’re really good at and what someone wants help with. Find yours.
37. Focus. For every comma after your name, you suck a little more.

Web training mogul and power team builder, hardly 25 years old, Laura Roeder

38. Access the collective wisdom. Find people who are brilliant at whatever you need for your business.
39. Stop doing everything yourself. Only do things you’re amazing at. There’s someone out there to do the rest.
40. The best way to not do something is to have no one do it. What can you flat out stop doing?
41. Always try to work yourself out of a job. Hire the right people to do the work so you can stick to what matters.
42. Think about the behaviors you’ve liked in those you’ve worked for. Embody these in your business and employees.
43. Be a mentor. Not a boss.
44. No one will care more than you but they can all care as much. Bring others into the vision.
45. Don’t micromanage. Constantly reinforce that you want others’ decisions. Give freedom.
46. It doesn’t matter what’s been done in the past. You get to run your business exactly how you want. You don’t have to follow anyone but yourself.
47. Trust your employees as much as you trust casual friends.
48. Always do flat fees. Hourly pay is a direct conflict – the owner wants it done as fast as possible and employee wants it done as slow as possible. Create the right incentives.

Day job killer who trains people to be who they are, Jonathan Mead

49. Every time I’ve hired someone, I’ve made more money. Focus on your core.
50. When problems come up, default to customer service. They will often do your work for free and are happy to help.

Career Renegade and author of Uncertainty, Jonathan Fields

51. Take bold consistent action against certainty. Everything worth doing requires uncertainty.
52. Uncertainty does not come natural for anyone. Face it anyway.
53. Find a way to ride the butterflies [in your stomach] instead of kill them.
54. Deliberately remove judgement and encourage experiments.
55. You can’t make forward progress without feedback.
56. Ritualize your creative process. Make a routine for getting in your zone.
57. Work in 30-45 min bursts. Our minds can’t handle anything more. Even if you’re on fire, pull yourself away and reflect for at least a few minutes.
58. Reframe the seemingly negative. Instead of asking “how could I possibly get myself to do this” ask “given all the possibility, how could I not?”
59. That feeling in your head and your body is a sign that what you’re doing actually matters. Don’t kill it. Embrace it.
60. Most experiences are worthless if you don’t learn something from them and do something as a result.
61. Learn to sit and be.

And from the wisdom of the crowd…

62. What do people thank you for? That’s where meaningful work starts.
63. The best way to attract a mentor is to serve everyone. The love and the learning is everywhere if you’re not looking in one specific place.
64. Blow people’s minds. You get paid when you solve a pain. Do that and making money becomes easy.
65. It’s all about the people all the time. Who’s yes can you be?
66. You can learn something from everyone you meet.
67. Tiny successes can be incredibly powerful.
68. You can’t replace doubt with courage and reality until you start to act.
69. Give yourself credit when you rock it. Pause. Take it in. Take it in some more. Then move on. It’s not about the next thing. It’s about right now.
70. When you pursue passion and adventure, it’s tiring but the excitement is worth every second of it.
71. Pursue adventure instead of normalcy.

72. Wake up.

Adopt greatness.

Jonathan Fields, one of the most inspiring authors and career contrarians I know, gave us the pleasure of the closing talk. I had the fortune of joining him for tea as well as a dinner over the weekend. He delivered with the passion and energy of a Tony Robbins and the calmness and centeredness of the Dalai Lama.

I kid you not, his talk trumped anything I can remember. His words left me a different person than when I sat down. He addressed the fear of uncertainty and the importance of taking action. Some of his final words gave me chills I can still feel days later:

“That feeling in your head and your body is a sign that what you’re doing actually matters. Don’t kill it. Embrace it.”

We’ve all had “that feeling”. What will you do with it next time it strikes?

Pick a practice.

Take another look at the list above. Pick something. Just one thing. Ideally the one that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Decide to embody that for all of tomorrow. Notice how it feels. Get addicted to butterflies. Love them. Any one of these can all make the difference between extraordinary and average. Decide to live one.

A weekend of greatness has the power to change a person. To make them better. To raise their standards.

We know it’s possible. The rest is on us.

Thank you all for the courage and reminding me what can be.

Which of the above 72 do you plan to embody? Let’s all pick just one and see what happens. Tell us yours in the comments. One sentence should suffice.

Please take two seconds to Tweet this and share it on Facebook using the links below. The authors above would greatly appreciate it. You’re awesome!

Photos courtesy of Armosa Studio

Written by Scott Dinsmore –  Follow me on Twitter.

“A mentor is someone whose hindsight can become your foresight”

~Anonymous

No one ever got anywhere by themselves. Behind every successful person is a supporter (or likely a whole support team) that made it possible.

This blog, this business, this dream would not exist if it wasn’t for some people who decided to stand squarely in my corner. They started out as my experts and have since become friends and trusted mentors. The same goes for anything I’ve done–be it running an ultramarathon, launching an investment fund or becoming a coach. My gratitude goes out to them.

One thing’s for sure. I did not get here on my own nor will I take the next step without them behind it.

Neither will you.

We all need help.

It’s easy to get so caught up in accomplishing this or doing that, that you forget that most things can’t be done on their own, nor should they.

A mentor is nothing more than a glorified friend. Whereas a model is the best example you can find in the world for a particular topic, a mentor is someone you can sit down with, be honest with and who can become a genuine friend. If you’re lucky, they might even be the same person.

For those of us without a mentor, it’s time to find one (or a few). For those of us who already have one, it’s time to give them the appreciation and respect they deserve (and get the most out of them!).

After all, it is our diehard supporters who connect dreams to reality (and make the process a lot more fun).

8 Steps to Creating the Perfect Mentor

1. Start close to home. Your mentor is likely to be someone who’s already close to you. Think of who you count on for advice. Those you trust for opinons. Who do you look up to and hope to be like one day? Who do you admire? Make a list of these people – I’m grateful to say my parents top this chart.

2. Look at the people around you. If no one jumps out in your existing circle then look at the relationships that people have around you. Who are their mentors and advisers? See if you can get out to a meal or event with all of you together. Add these people to your list.

3. Tell them the impact they’ve had. Take them out to coffee or a dinner and open your heart. Let them know how much you respect what they’ve done and appreciate their advice. People are often too embarrassed to tell someone how they feel-don’t be one of them. Do you have any idea how amazing it is to know that someone looks up to you? It’s as high as honors come. If you feel that way about someone, tell them. You’re connection will be all the stronger as a result. And you’ll give them a relationship to live up to as you seek their advice in the future.

4. Ask. It goes something like this (after expressing the above) “I realized I’m really missing that support and advice to do the big things I’m working on like… (list them). I could really use a trusted mentor. Would you be up for it?” Don’t beat around it. Tell them what you want and make a big deal about it. Not only will they be honored but they’ll really want to deliver!

5. Constantly reinforce their value. I sometimes send ten hand written thank you notes in a week. Sometimes for something specific, but just as often as a reminder of how much someone’s relationship means to me. Keep yourself in the front of their mind. Do it with gratitude above all else.

6. Help. Relationships only work if both do their part. Even if someone’s your guru, that doesn’t mean you can’t return a favor. Maybe you know someone they should meet or you find a book or article that they’ll love. Buy the book and send it with a note. Better yet, drop it by their house. There is a way to help any and everyone. It will not go unnoticed.

7. Weave them into your story. Invite them places. Go on workouts. Do things you both enjoy. They might not have time but at least they know you’re interested. The more interactions, the more powerful the relationship. The more in-person the better.

8. Ask for help. Giver’s high is addictive. People love helping others, especially with things they’re good at. You chose the mentors you did because they can help you do the things that matter. Don’t go too long without asking them a question or for help. Maybe every month or two at the least. Asking for help strengthens the relationship. Let them know they’re needed.

The process in action

I started this blog four years ago. For the first three years I had no mentors, no peers and no friends in the space. For the first three years my readership grew by exactly 0%.

Then I decided I wanted to make a career out of it. I did the above and actively met dozens of unreal people in the space. One such person was Leo Babauta of Zen Habits. We met over dinner with a group of bloggers. I asked at least 1,200 questions… A few weeks later we went out for a run in San Francisco. Now we get out about once a week. He’s since become a great friend and one of the best sounding boards a web entrepreneur could dream of. You likely would not be reading this if it wasn’t for his guidance and friendship.

Other huge supporters have been Jonathan Mead and Corbett Barr (who just launched an awesome mentorship program) among others.

Thanks to them, a hobby and passion has become a viable business.

Everyone needs someone in their corner.

Pay it forward

Establishing your support is only one side of the equation. In order for everyone to have a mentor, you must be willing to become one.

Who can you help? Think of an organization where you’re a more senior and experienced member. Maybe at work, school or a volunteer group. Maybe your children or your children’s friends. Reach out and pay if forward. It’s as important for you to be in someone’s corner as for someone to be in yours. That’s the only way this works.

Where would you be without the backing you have right now? Where could you be if you had a little more of it?

We are not meant to go at it alone. No one successful ever has. Go out and create world class relationships. Life is a lot more fun with some company.

It’s time to enlist your supporters.

Who’s in your corner? Who are your biggest mentors? How have they helped? Share one in the comments below. May this be a tribute to them.

Need help finding your mentor? Check this resource:

Adam Baker and Corbett Barr, two six-figure web entrepreneurs, just launched The Hustle Project. It’s part mastermind and part kick-ass mentorship group. Pure action and accountability to get you to launch your online business. I can attest that the stuff these guys teach plain works. They’re also offering a pretty sweet deal for the first people who sign up. Check out The Hustle Project and surround yourself with greatness.

Image courtesy of ssh

Written by Scott Dinsmore –  Follow us on Twitter.

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is right now.”

~Chinese Proverb

On Building Dreams…

I spent a few weeks fly fishing through Patagonia with my father in February. For a week of my adventure I stayed in a small fishing lodge deep in the Chilean bush. And by deep, I mean deep.

I flew into Santiago in a big plane, then flew into Puerto Montt in a smaller plane, then flew into an airstrip along side a lake in a 12-person prop plane (the kind that has a per-passenger weight limit). There we were greeted by two guys in an off-road van who drove us another three hours into the wilderness on a dirt road. That’s where our lodge was.

The place was gorgeous. Everything perfect. So much so, you would forget you were 30 hours out of your comfort zone and probably at leaset a day from a hospital. There wasn’t a thing out of place.

On our drive out I asked Marcel, the owner, how he got into the business. Twelve years ago he left Holland to spend a year fly fishing around the world with nothing but a backpack, his wife and a fly rod (what else does a guy need??). As soon as he got to Chile he knew it was his next home. He spent four more months fishing every river, stream, lake and tributary within 100km until he found exactly where he wanted his lodge.

Then he started building. That was 10 years ago. He didn’t even speak Spanish when he started.

“But how’d you have a clue what was involved before you started” I asked as our van flew around a bend in a cloud of dust.

He giggled as he handed back some trail mix, “I didn’t,” he replied. “If I would have known what was involved, I never would have started in the first place. Do you have any idea how hard it is to build a full-service lodge with five-star food, with running hot water, 12 hours into the Chilean wilderness? I certainly didn’t. And I’m glad I didn’t.”

“I just decided to start small. Then came the rest,” he added.

Everything begins with the smallest start and the right reason.

I hear from people everyday who say “I’d like to travel here or start this or try that, but…”

There are a million and one reasons not to do something. There always will be. If you look for one, you’ll no doubt find it.

But one good reason can beat down a thousand bad ones in an instant. All you need is one – one that matters more to you than anything.

All you have to have is enough of a dream, a vision, a belief, so that you have the courage to take that first tiny step. Every step after that is easier. People start to get behind you. Things start to work and suddenly you’re rolling.

But you have to start!

I cannot express this enough. As important as it is to think big, nothing happens until you think small.

• Building a 10,000 reader blog is unimaginable when your only subscriber is your mom. But think how easy it will be to grow 100%.
• The iPhone started with tinkering in a garage with leftover circuit boards.
• Your new company can’t have 40 employees until it has one.
• You can’t find a wife until you go on a date.
• You can’t lose 100 lbs until you lose five.

I don’t care who you are or what you’re planning to do. Every beginning is a humble one.

Don’t over think it and don’t make the mistake of thinking the successful folks around you didn’t start from the same place. They did.

Starting is really the easiest part.

The first step always seems like the worst. It involves the most fear, the most unknown and the most energy. That’s why most people never take it.

But even though we build it up in our head to the size of an obese elephant, the actual first step, from a physical effort perspective, is probably the easiest part of the process. It might only take five or ten minutes to write the first email or have the first meeting.

What’s a few minutes?

Put enough of those together and all of a sudden the smallest of beginnings turns into something meaningful. That’s how a paragraph turns into the next best-seller. How a slab of concrete turns into a home. How a step turns into a marathon.

Just this weekend I started work on my first book. On Saturday morning I sat down to a completely blank page. Do you have any idea how daunting that was? But thanks to a good friend’s advice, I started with a few lines. Took a break. Then added a few more. By the end of the weekend I had over 60 pages.

Nothing happens until you start.

Every beginning needs momentum! Start as absolutely small as possible. Instead of searching for reasons to wait, make it too easy not to begin.

11 Ways to Start Really Small:

1. Make a tiny list of tiny things. Think as small as possible. Look something up. Ask someone a question. Anything.

2. Talk to someone who’s done it. Find a model. It helps tremendously to see a similar path before you walk yours.

3. Read something about it. Find a blog post, news article or book chapter about someone who’s done it. Get the juices flowing.

4. Make it fun. Look at office space, throw around name ideas, or grab a bottle of wine and sit down with your husband or wife and check out other websites in the space.

5. Write about it. Expanding on a new invigorating idea is a ton of fun. Write a sentence. Then maybe another. Write for at least 10 minutes, but you don’t have to stop there. I keep an ongoing idea list in my journal – I love adding to it and makes for a great conversation piece at parties.

6. Buy a domain name. Five minutes and $9.95 – easy and cheap!

7. List out your reasons why it’s so important to you. What amazing things could happen if you do it? What will you miss out on if you don’t? Use the free Goal Setting or Find Your Why workbooks if you need to.

8. Find your support. A stiff dose of courage and accountability makes for strong beginnings. Think of 2-3 people who will stand behind your idea. Buy them coffee and divulge your plan.

9. Send a note to your boss (warning: this one’s extreme). How long does it take to write a two word email that says “I quit”? You might want to word it a little better but you get the idea. Or even better, if you have a good relationship (and you think your boss will be supportive), talk to them about your plan.

10. Help someone. If you plan to offer a service (like teaching, coaching, consulting or web design) then start offering it to those close to you. Find someone in need of something you’re good at. Start helping. Giver’s high is amazing.

11. Put a price on it. You’ll never get paid if you don’t ask for money. If you’ve already been helping people then at some point you gotta put a price on your goods. You’re worth something to someone, I guarantee it. It only takes an instant to change your price from $0 to something. Getting money for things you’re good at motivates. Simple as that.

There is never a good time.

And if you’re waiting for the right time to do one of the above, I suggest you stop. It won’t come. There’s never a good time to do any of the important things in life. I don’t care if you’re starting a business, having a baby, moving to a new town or trying to lose 100 lbs. Stop waiting. The right time won’t come. You have to start by starting.

Then again you could always do it later. But when was the last time that happened?

Marcel y Carolina - Living Legends

What have you been putting off?

What do you want to do but don’t know where to start?

Are you going to look back in five or ten years with 20 times more excuses and say you wish you would have started this or tried that? I hope not. And if you’re looking back now on a regret from years past, the good news is it’s never too late.

Ray Krok started McDonalds at 52 (I hope you do something more constructive and healthy than start a McDonalds, but most importantly do something).

There are no real excuses. Especially when you’re starting small.

Find Your Purpose, Live Your Legend.

One night I was out near the river reading The Alchemist. Marcel looked over and excitedly told me how powerful the book was. “I’ve read it four times” he nearly shouted.

I smiled. This was my fifth. I had to laugh but I can’t say I was so surprised.

After all, The Alchemist is a story of pursuing one’s Personal Legend. Your destiny. Your purpose as best as one can know it. What wakes you up excited and keeps you up at night. Marcel lives his legend everyday.

He should be the rule, not the exception.

Marcel and his wife Carolina have 4 cats, a kitten, a dog, a puppy, Lupina their baby lamb, about 8 pigs and an adorable two-year-old daughter, Elena. Everything they eat is local and organic and in season, grass fed. There is no other choice.

When the winter gets too cold for good fishing, they latch up the lodge and travel the world for a few months and spend the summer with family in Holland. Their lodge, The Patagonian BaseCamp, is now known worldwide. It started with a guy with a fishing pole wandering around the woods in Chile.

People called him crazy.

Now thousands would kill to have what he’s built. The problem is they were not willing to do something he was…Begin.

If you can start, I assure you, you can finish.

Each step makes you more committed to the last. You will find more and more reasons to make it epic as you go.

It all stats with starting.

Don’t intimidate yourself by the image of people living their dreams. Don’t focus on the huge gap you might have to cross to get to where they are. They had to cross it too. But they didn’t cross it in one day. It likely took a thousand little acts. Any one of which seemed insignificant at the time.

A journey of a thousand miles still begins with a single step. Nothing’s changed.

Don’t worry about not knowing about the future. No one does anyway.

If you don’t start, how can you ever finish?

“Making a decision is only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.”

~The Alchemist

Start with a comment!

What can you do this week (or right now) to get you at least slightly closer to a dream? Share at least one sentence in the comments below. Let that be the beginning. We’ll hold you to it!

If you liked this, please share it using the links below. It might be all someone needs. Thanks!

Big thanks to Corbett Barr and Adam Baker for the title inspiration!

Image courtesy of: notsogoodphotography